how do break ups work?

ok, firstly i'm now an advocate of building relationships... break ups should not happen in the first place unless of differences that cannot be changed... like perhaps there's somebody new and you wanna jump ship... or she got involved in an accident and got disabled... but either way you are a selfish prick to break up cause of those reasons... other than that, i believe you should work to change her, she works to change you, or you and her compromise and seek a middle ground.

i had a rule last time, that if i were to break up and the girl persisted by smsing and calling everyday, i'll patch and go back to her, cause that's what love is about... if you were to see $50 on the floor, perhaps between you and that $50 there exists some obsticles... wouldn't you work your way to get that $50??? if a girl can treasure and value me so much that she still wants me back after we've broke up... she's for keeps... this is also the reason why i never woo girls unless they make the first move and i always patch whenever she wants to come back...
so for me, break ups = if i broke up with you, i just want you to persist to win me back.

what should a happy, lovely couple do after they've broken up? become enemies? ignore each other? become friends? do good break ups exist, where BOTH parties feel its best they remain as friends... after such a long time together??? i think that's like double adultery!!!

ok, i believe part of my lack of experience in this area is becos i've never been dumped before, prior to my latest 2 relationships... before that, i've always been the 1 who did the dumping... and after we broke up, i only had the urge to be friends with those who i wasn't really interested to be in a relationship with from the start... perhaps the dating was fun, or i just to prove to myself, i wanted to know if she'd want me as her boyfriend... there were even incidents where we became a couple thru a mistake...

everytime after we broke up, they never msged or called... i always thought that this was a sign that she wasn't really interested in the first place... so its best we broke up... heck i wanted out anyway so its good she never calls again...

then i had my 1st r/s with a girl i seriously had considered to spend my life with... i told her i wanted to break up once... she cried and ran away... i didn't bother to chase her back... later she called and cried... we met up and patched.. but she was extremely upset that i mentioned the word break up... it was from her that i realise that perhaps using break up as a tactic to test wasn't a good idea afterall. she passed the test thus i patched, but it broke her heart so bad... anyways it was from her that i learnt many, many things from...

anyways, the story goes that i never treated her well, i broke up with her again a few months later and that break up was final... can't really remember much details now, was a long time ago... but after that, i wanted her back, she didn't want me back... and i drew the conclusion that perhaps if i were her boyfriend, i should work to salvage the relationship... so i started sending her smses and saying sorry.... didn't work out well cause after a long, long time i was still emotionally attached to her(abeit too late), and later i decided that it was best to burn bridges else i will not be able to move on... it was a nice break up at first, but made worst cause i decided to persist but couldn't handle it... only resulted in me treating her worst than ever...

fast forward a few years later, another break up occured...
sought advise from people and this is what they say:
G: break up already must save face, cannot ask her back, cannot sms her... later she'll show your messages to other people then very paiseh 1
M: i guess you should probably ignore her from now on
D: cannot sms her and ask her back 1, later she'll find you irritating and thats gonna be worst
J: you shouldn't talk to her again unless you are sure that when you talk to her you will not ask her to patch back, cause that is not what she'll want

you see, the problem with the above, is that if this advise were given to a girl who i broke up with last time, it'll just effectively mean to me that she wasn't interested in the first place and the break up was a wise decision on my end... which might not be true!


so should you remain friends after break up?
on 1 end, i don't think it is right that the girl continues to get all that attention and care yet not be commited in a relationship with a guy who works his socks off to ensure that she's happy and has a good time with him... like how eddie would say 'there's no free food in this country!', so no, just like how she isn't going to commit, you should not commit your time and effort to make her happy. eddie also says that 'if she's willing to break up, she's ready to take the chance to lose a friend in you too'. perhaps he's right...

maybe too, is my perception of friendship. i believe that you can never be friends with a girl... sooner or later, eventually either she starts to like you, or vice versa. thus i never have female friends... the last thing that i'd want is to have a girl like me while i don't have the same feelings for her... all the female friends i have, other than my buddy(special 1 female friend only) and ex girlfriends who deserve a special category themselves, all female friends are all very distant and we never talk UNLESS there is a need. let alone going out together.


but on the other end, if the relationship never started at all in the first place, it could have been a great friendship in the making... also, why let everything go to waste? we were such a happy, happy couple and i'd say that when we were together, happy with each other at the corner, there were a few jealous eyes going around... people even wanted to be in on what we were doing...


so how do break ups work?
i really have no idea!

lol..I still remember you started a thread claiming that you felt shiok-shiok after fingering yourself with lotion!

different break ups have diff ways and patterns

Gosh!! That's a very long story..

In short, if u really feel that u r dying in a relationship, break up..make it short n sweet. dont think about it.

if u feel that she is dying yet u feel strongly abt the both of u, try harder. If trying harder, doesn't work. Last resort is to break up.

There will always be uncertainties n questions in ur mind when u act on something, good or bad, but if u keep pondering abt it, u can never move on n all u'll have is a bunch of 'what ifs'

Heartbreaks come n they take a long time to heal but they eventually do heal BUT ONLY IF U LET IT HEAL!

Yes, its easier said than done n I have had my share of heartaches n pain n the feeling of wanting to end it all (ok, not to that extent) but I'm here still, I'm happier, I remember the good times n believe it or not, we're still friends n we confide in each other but there can never ever be a relationship btw us again.

Well said... but emotions are something hard to explain.. Being loved is number 1...

are you supposed to try to be friends after break up?
what good is friendship after break up?

Zack's 1st law of friendship...

more friends is better than more enemies

Virgincess wrote:

Well said... but emotions are something hard to explain.. Being loved is number 1...

Maybe don't try too hard. Let nature take it's course. If, with time, u both feel tt u can continue life as friends, then do so. Don't force it on each other cos it may worsen instead of improve the relationship.

You still got anymore of that lotion left?

IS IT THUS INEVITABLE THAT I SHOWETH THEE MY GENITALS FROM TIME TO TIME, USING MY CENTRE FINGER AS REPRESENTATION FOR THAT IMAGE.

funniegal wrote:

Virgincess wrote:

Well said... but emotions are something hard to explain.. Being loved is number 1...

Maybe don't try too hard. Let nature take it's course. If, with time, u both feel tt u can continue life as friends, then do so. Don't force it on each other cos it may worsen instead of improve the relationship.

Last time, in the past, I cannot accept love from men that I have no Feel.... these days I am more relaxed ( still bullies them) but opened my eyes to their actions... actions indeed speaks louder than works...

A man may not be rich, good looking, good body, has education.. but you will feel if he is for keeps ...*winks*

so jerrrkk... do u still finger ur ass?
or are u using ur whole fist now?

cheers!

Break ups work like this.

Girl : Screw you.
Boy: Bite me.

I( think you have to learn to see things more possitively. I've been with my ex for 3 years and when she broke up with me, I thought my world was over, but i saw the break up and a motivation, picked myself up and moved on. Shortly after that, I aced that promotion, and now, 2 months later, I'm going out with a FHM model (Max knows who..shhh..!). If she hadn't broken up with me, I'll still be with that fat ugly admin clerk, and my life would probably be on a stand still. Now, when she learnt of my relative success and happiness, she's been feeling bad, and she wants me back. Nuh-uh biatch!

Hahahahahahahaha! Nuh-uh biatch!

break up...

somehow, THAT guy [i should say EX BF] and i just stopped contacting each other~ we just move on~

heh

kinda both party's fault cos he kept saying that he's a bad bf and encouraged me to leave him if i ever found a better guy, while i DID find a better guy and decided to leave him~

im veri obedient

break ups work like when you want a new transformers toy and you bug your mom for it and she says NO you already have a barbie live with it and you get all miffed and you break up with your mom for 2 hours.