Nice also no gd? open for discussion.

Was having a small talk wif a friend the other day.

Was saying he was too nice to gals, but seen that no one appreciated it. While all those attitude problem guys get all the chio bu, and was wondering y.

Then while we keep ourselves conservative / traditional / morally rite, those guys managed to get laid. And it was so unfair.

Gals like to be torture? whether its mentally or physically.

It really hurts us when we c those gal's bf r bengs or treat them badly.


So he was telling me that y not he make a change and become one of those bastard guys out there?



wats ur say?

humm... i just tell him so long as he can get pass his "liang xin" and wont feel bad abt that. By all means, just do it....

I like how u describe yourself as MORALLY RITE! hee

For me, I like nice guys but I also have a soft spot for bad guys. But I prefer someone who's a bit of both. So, being too nice can be a liability rather than an asset. Too much niceness can be boring and the guy can be taken for granted especially if you dont know how the girl feels abt him.

Just be himself. Yes, he can be nice but there's no need to go overboard.

funniegal wrote:

I like how u describe yourself as MORALLY RITE! hee

For me, I like nice guys but I also have a soft spot for bad guys. But I prefer someone who's a bit of both. So, being too nice can be a liability rather than an asset. Too much niceness can be boring and the guy can be taken for granted especially if you dont know how the girl feels abt him.

Just be himself. Yes, he can be nice but there's no need to go overboard.

humm... but wat if he tend to dotes/adore on the gal and dun want to make her unhappy, like that also wrong?

So must treat the gal bad sometimes? such as throwing temper? unreasonable demand etc???

U need to gauge what kind of girl she is. If she likes him, she should be very happy to have a bf like him. Obviously if she takes him for granted, its probably that she doesn't like him as much or maybe she doesn't realise that she's taking advantage of him.

But even then, to her, no matter how she treats him, she knows he'll always be nice to her.

Not being overly nice does not mean being bad. I'm not sure how to explain this but I'll attempt an example.

1) U buy her stuff but u buy her something everyday cos u like her n u want to make her happy. It defeats the purpose of the gift being special. Instead it's just a daily gift.

2) She's sick n u call her to find out how she is. U call every hour to find out if she's ok. Erm..it can be quite irritating cos she may wanna sleep but u keep calling her. Then u insist u wanna buy dinner for her. She may not be hungry.

Ur not giving her space for herself. Cos when ur nice, u wanna do everything u can for her, every single day.

err... ur example is really overboard...

It it were me, my choice will be,

1) buy her stuff when she likes it / need it once in a while only. if not will kill the purpose and i not that rich and free to go source for gift everyday.

2) give her a call, ask her to go c a doctor, if can, bring her to the doctor and sent her home to rest and leave. buy dinner for her only when she wants it. Accompany her after work if she want someone to be there for her.
I will also be irritated if someone bother me too much while i am sick and i wan to slp.

Can i add in one more for u?

3) freedom and trust, let her go enjoy wif her friends whether its guys/gals when she wants to. She still have her own social circle of friends. Not dominating / possessive.
If she wants to, Accompany her to meet her friends and leave, fetch her back if its too late.

Its not that nice isn't good...

but sometimes... guys who treat u good intially.. turns to be not good...

then again.. u've already fallen in love with him.. and u think that.. u're able to live with it...

love and r/s.. is something really not easy to just define in words.. its not like we want to find bad guys.. wanna be treated badly....

Like what Funniegal said, you must gauge what kind of gal. What you've described is just the tip of the iceberg, there are millions of gals out there, and all have different personalities. Some like their guys bad, some like them really nice, but most like a bit of badness plus a whole lot of goodness.
Just to add on funnie's examples..

e.g.: the girl wants anything and you give it to her, regardless whether its beneficial for her social/physical health. Overly-nice and too pampered.

perhaps i guess.. its nt that no gals appreciate that good guy.

feelings are are to say.

it just may be that... he didnt met the right gal to give all this love and care...

This kinda qn is just like tat of egg and chicken...
no definite answers... even though we do see alot of classic examples of 男人不坏女人不爱

its all in the mind and heart... but den again.. seeing so many examples.. what can we believe and not believe in?
Hmm...

I used to be like your friend.

Treating them good with no motives or whatsoever, treating them good just because I want to.

But in the end, it doesn't work out. Even if she's just a friend, she'll leave you as fast as you can say "Man (Or Woman ) Overboard".

I even helped a total of two girls top up their phone.

Not even a call. Just an occasional comment ( which never happens unless i take the initiative. ) from the second one.

The first one was like "Help me top up again." and I said "no." and she said, "got spare phone?" and I hung up. She called back and say "did you hang up on me?" and I said "oh. Did it sound like.." *click* I hung up again.

That showed the bitch.

Yeah I have to agree on the "Girls like to be tortured mentally and physically."

Somehow, they really do..

It's like they have some kind of bondage super sex beast in them..

Jesus..

You treat them nicely and it's goes unappreciated.

and...
Do not give me that "soft spot for bad boys crap". I won't take it. It's silly, you wanna marry some hooligan who has no future and always take your kids along for drinking gatherings? Or would you rather want a sophisticated party to take your kids to? ( Grand Ball room, e.t.c ).

Yes I know some hooligans are successful, but what are the odds? Besides, they live in fear of getting caught and you don't see their product reviews on the news.... Possibly the Internet, but they'll get caught.

liyun wrote:

Its not that nice isn't good...

but sometimes... guys who treat u good intially.. turns to be not good...

then again.. u've already fallen in love with him.. and u think that.. u're able to live with it...

love and r/s.. is something really not easy to just define in words.. its not like we want to find bad guys.. wanna be treated badly....

sound like a victim to me =P

its like that de mah, when a guy is wooing u, will treat u super gd. But will see the true colour after he got u. Then its up to the gal whether she wan to continue like this or move on.

Wisely wrote:

This kinda qn is just like tat of egg and chicken...
no definite answers... even though we do see alot of classic examples of 男人不坏女人不爱

its all in the mind and heart... but den again.. seeing so many examples.. what can we believe and not believe in?
Hmm...

haiz... believe in chemistry bah....

raphy wrote:

sound like a victim to me =P

its like that de mah, when a guy is wooing u, will treat u super gd. But will see the true colour after he got u. Then its up to the gal whether she wan to continue like this or move on.

Like they say.. The fun lies in the journey, not the destination.. I know of some guys who live by that. It sux yeah..

raphy wrote:

sound like a victim to me =P

its like that de mah, when a guy is wooing u, will treat u super gd. But will see the true colour after he got u. Then its up to the gal whether she wan to continue like this or move on.

when a woman falls in love with a man... its hard to tell that woman to give up the man... they would rather think of the happy times they had.. think of how well the man had treated her in the past... and that allowed them to carry on with the relationship...

it might sound stupid.. but then again... love is something stupid anyway...

Taz always say... nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai...

the bad boys get the girls

ok being bad.. its human nature to..

ok when something is hard to get u'll tend to treasure it more. same logic.

i tink nice ppl alwiz being taken advantage of....not only guys....girls too...when u r too nice, the other party tends 2 take u 4 granted n might not appreciate it....tat's human nature...but well, he/she will somehow regreted it 1 day.... It happens 2 me, guys treat me nice, i dun appreciate....over n over again...haizzzz....now regret is really too late!...furthermore, like wat yun said, love is indeed stupid....we do silly things when we r in love...love cant b define logically at all...now i also dunno i shd b nice or not? coz being nice doesn't mean ppl will know how 2 appreciate u....

dunno how 2 edit my entry....i rewrite here...

i tink nice ppl alwiz being taken advantage of....not only guys....girls too...when u r too nice, the other party tends 2 take u 4 granted n might not appreciate it....tat's human nature...but well, he/she will somehow regreted it 1 day.... It happens 2 me, guys treat me nice, i dun appreciate....over n over again...haizzzz....now regret is really too late!...furthermore, like wat yun said, love is indeed stupid....we do silly things when we r in love...love cant b define logically at all...now i changed 2 b nice...but being nice doesn't mean ppl will know how 2 appreciate me!...so, i dunno i shd continue b nice or not?

people just talk, in real life whether nice or bad, once guys get a ger into bed, game over. or 70-80% relations dont last long.
so whatever, whether nice or not, sincerity is what matters.
Cheers !!

some gurls like those play-hard-to-get-boyfriends.. =D

i like nice guys. bad guys, KICK 'em in the crotch!!

euny wrote:

i like nice guys. bad guys, KICK 'em in the crotch!!

it's difficult to state who is the bad or good guys.. there are many factors in it.. some sometimes the good guy turns bad after woo-ing that gurl due to the fact she is already his gf, and he doesnt need to impress her anymore, thus the bad attitudes towards the gurl

or

maybe he is doing it in the present of his frens or something.. he wanna show his frens that he is the lion in the pack there.. he can tame the tigeress or something.. in short it's man's ego of pride and submissive to the guy..

or

juz like i stated beforehand.. he might wanna let the gurl to play hard to get it, so that she still want for more.. what is the point of saying "i love u" everyday and lower the value of "i love u" when that sentence means a significant things in couples? perhaps treating her like normal or maybe more than normal.. not too extravagant..

or

juz use the mostly simplest way to explain.. she like bad guys.. =)

i love bad girls..

so much more wilder and unpredictable!

cheers!

liyun wrote:

raphy wrote:

sound like a victim to me =P

its like that de mah, when a guy is wooing u, will treat u super gd. But will see the true colour after he got u. Then its up to the gal whether she wan to continue like this or move on.

when a woman falls in love with a man... its hard to tell that woman to give up the man... they would rather think of the happy times they had.. think of how well the man had treated her in the past... and that allowed them to carry on with the relationship...

it might sound stupid.. but then again... love is something stupid anyway...

well i would say i disagree with yun wor... cuz personally i had a few ladies friend... they are faithful when it comes to love...but once a guy treat them bad, they wun hesitate to break off...cuz they just cant stand it... so cant really say girls reminsce memories of the past then still continue with the guy... =)
but true love is something stupid... so never fall in love... if not u might really FALL... lol