British English VS Asian English

Who says our English is teruk.very bad in Malay)?

Just see below - Ours >is simple, short,>concise,
straight-to-point, effective etc........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS:

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you
want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other
outlets for you.
Asian : No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Asian : Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Asian : S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Asian : No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Asian : (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Asian : Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Asian : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Asian : Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Asian : You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Asian : Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Asian : See what, see what? (not only this.. later, start fighting and killing...too...Heyyyy Asian..!!!!)

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Asian : Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Asian : Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Asian : like that also don't know how to do!!!!