Do you think what is said inside is true?

I researched, and there is different in opinion between western and eastern culture. i just wan2 share with u guys here.


the following is taken form a site...

In Fruits Basket, Kisa Sohma, the Tiger of the Zodiac, is bullied by her classmates, who gang up on her because she has a different hair colour from the rest of her class. As a result, she becomes mute, and leaves school. Her teacher writes her a letter "encouraging" her to return. In it, the teacher seems aware that Kisa is being tormented, but she suggests it's Kisa's behaviour that is causing the trouble, not the bullies'. She asks how Kisa can expect her classmates to like her when she obviously doesn't like herself, skipping over the fact that it was her peers' tormenting of her that caused Kisa's self-loathing in the first place (she despised the fact that she was "too weak" to stand up to her classmates). Yuki reads the letter and pronounces it "sickening," not because the teacher is foisting the blame for the situation onto Kisa, but because "how can you be expected to like yourself when you can only see your faults and failings"? This goes strongly against Western attitudes to bullying, where common belief holds that it's the bullies who have the problem, not the victim. To a Western viewer, Kisa's non-conformity is not her fault -- she can't help her hair colour -- and the children abusing her should be stopped by an adult.

In Japan, however, the issues of honour and strength mean that the aesop is different: Kisa should be strong enough to face the bullies alone, without relying on adult intervention; her failure to do so suggests that it her weakness that is causing the problem. Meanwhile, the Japanese stress on conformity explains why, being "different," Kisa is fair game to the rest of her class. This is a sharp contradiction to the "Bullies are cowards", "If you're bullied it's not your fault", and "accept people the way they are" mantras of Western culture.

ok so its from an anime but it does reflect the reality. I have a close friend, he is very dorky looking, physically weaker than average guys and has speech problems and back in high school his often bullied by his classmates, teased alot and made fun of alot.
My other friends who does not bully him always say to me that "He should be stronger, his to weak thats why kena buli like this.." in other words its like saying he deserves this because of the way he is. OK lets nt focus on the ppl who bullied him here but rather the ppl who gave comments saying he should be stronger, he deserves it cuz his like that etc etc.
I admit i do think this way as well and I find myself really shallow to give such comments too, fact is his born that way and even if he can do something abt it its the bullies taht should be looked down at and not him.

i really dont know if this is true "This goes strongly against Western attitudes to bullying, where common belief holds that it's the bullies who have the problem, not the victim" but i do know based on experience that most asians are like that.
keyword MOST!

But i ask u all this question do you believe that while the bullies were indeed wrong, it was also bad for the victim not to have the courage to reteliate?

I believe that the bully is wrong. However, I must state that I think there's a difference in the bullying you are talking about. People in the western culture tend to associate bullying to physical bullying. Those kind of actions are the type that are frowned upon. However, the western culture also have the type of bullying that you are describing...verbal/mental bullying which is not as strongly frowned upon. These are also the type of bullying you seem to be describing in the Japanese anime.

Now in the case of physical abuse, sometimes it is very hard for the person being bullied to stand up for themselves because of difference in size and other physical attributes.

Now for the other type of mental/verbal bullying, this is like name-calling and such...(seriously if you watch enough western teen movies you'll know what I mean..e.g Mean Girls), like I said, it isn't so strongly frowned upon. This type of bullying requires people to stand up for themselves and just state that I don't really care what you say/think of me...just shut up and get out of my face. Normally these bullies are reaction based. No more reaction = no point continuing.

In any case, people who bully the weak/retarded/mentally deficit are seriously people with very low self-esteem who gain their kicks from bullying people unable to defend themselves. Towards this group....i got nothing to say except...pitiful.

Hmm..it really depends.

Those bullies may have picked on ur friend becos he would not retaliate. They find it fun to bully someone who cant or wont fight back. Doesn't mean he is weak, just that he doesn't feel it is necessary to fight back.

The bullies r the ones with the issues. Do u think they would bully him if he fought back? Well, maybe they would, so it may not have made a difference if ur friend was stronger. If they hate someone that much, it would just be strength in numbers n the more of them could just bully him further.

But then again, other bullies pick on someone 'weaker' to give them a sense of authority. They may have their own insecurities n so they take it out on someone who is smaller in size, poorer, weaker...blah blah blah. It could be to mask their own issues.

Sometimes, ignoring ppl like this will eventually bore the bullies to death n they may just go find fun somewhere else.

N where were u n ur friends when he was being bullied?

Merre wrote:

I believe that the bully is wrong. However, I must state that I think there's a difference in the bullying you are talking about. People in the western culture tend to associate bullying to physical bullying. Those kind of actions are the type that are frowned upon. However, the western culture also have the type of bullying that you are describing...verbal/mental bullying which is not as strongly frowned upon. These are also the type of bullying you seem to be describing in the Japanese anime.

Now in the case of physical abuse, sometimes it is very hard for the person being bullied to stand up for themselves because of difference in size and other physical attributes.

Now for the other type of mental/verbal bullying, this is like name-calling and such...(seriously if you watch enough western teen movies you'll know what I mean..e.g Mean Girls), like I said, it isn't so strongly frowned upon. This type of bullying requires people to stand up for themselves and just state that I don't really care what you say/think of me...just shut up and get out of my face. Normally these bullies are reaction based. No more reaction = no point continuing.

In any case, people who bully the weak/retarded/mentally deficit are seriously people with very low self-esteem who gain their kicks from bullying people unable to defend themselves. Towards this group....i got nothing to say except...pitiful.

I agree to a point but to me, whether physical or mental/emotional, bullying is bullying. I may not physically injure u but sometimes words can be just as harsh or worse n this could also traumitize a person. So even if the person doesn't have physical scars, he would have emotional ones that can stay with him.

But like u said, ppl who bully have issues of their own n sometimes, the ppl they bully may actually reflect themselves in another environment. Peer pressure also plays a part. My friends want me to prove to them that I'm their friend so I'm forced to beat up someone. Something like that.

cutelonelyguy wrote:

I researched, and there is different in opinion between western and eastern culture. i just wan2 share with u guys here.


the following is taken form a site...

In Fruits Basket, Kisa Sohma, the Tiger of the Zodiac, is bullied by her classmates, who gang up on her because she has a different hair colour from the rest of her class. As a result, she becomes mute, and leaves school. Her teacher writes her a letter "encouraging" her to return. In it, the teacher seems aware that Kisa is being tormented, but she suggests it's Kisa's behaviour that is causing the trouble, not the bullies'. She asks how Kisa can expect her classmates to like her when she obviously doesn't like herself, skipping over the fact that it was her peers' tormenting of her that caused Kisa's self-loathing in the first place (she despised the fact that she was "too weak" to stand up to her classmates). Yuki reads the letter and pronounces it "sickening," not because the teacher is foisting the blame for the situation onto Kisa, but because "how can you be expected to like yourself when you can only see your faults and failings"? This goes strongly against Western attitudes to bullying, where common belief holds that it's the bullies who have the problem, not the victim. To a Western viewer, Kisa's non-conformity is not her fault -- she can't help her hair colour -- and the children abusing her should be stopped by an adult.

In Japan, however, the issues of honour and strength mean that the aesop is different: Kisa should be strong enough to face the bullies alone, without relying on adult intervention; her failure to do so suggests that it her weakness that is causing the problem. Meanwhile, the Japanese stress on conformity explains why, being "different," Kisa is fair game to the rest of her class. This is a sharp contradiction to the "Bullies are cowards", "If you're bullied it's not your fault", and "accept people the way they are" mantras of Western culture.

ok so its from an anime but it does reflect the reality. I have a close friend, he is very dorky looking, physically weaker than average guys and has speech problems and back in high school his often bullied by his classmates, teased alot and made fun of alot.
My other friends who does not bully him always say to me that "He should be stronger, his to weak thats why kena buli like this.." in other words its like saying he deserves this because of the way he is. OK lets nt focus on the ppl who bullied him here but rather the ppl who gave comments saying he should be stronger, he deserves it cuz his like that etc etc.
I admit i do think this way as well and I find myself really shallow to give such comments too, fact is his born that way and even if he can do something abt it its the bullies taht should be looked down at and not him.

i really dont know if this is true "This goes strongly against Western attitudes to bullying, where common belief holds that it's the bullies who have the problem, not the victim" but i do know based on experience that most asians are like that.
keyword MOST!

But i ask u all this question do you believe that while the bullies were indeed wrong, it was also bad for the victim not to have the courage to reteliate?

This sounds more like the western view on bullying. In primary school, seeing parents going down to school to intervene on bullying is common sight, but how often do you see that in a western school? In western schools I've noticed, kids can name call or push other kids around even though their parents are there, and all the parents do is just sit around and watch. And when the kids come crying back, they tell them to be strong.

Ya, like in the movies..they'll teach the kid how to fight back. The parents try to make the kid more independent n fight for themselves rather than the parents intervening. Even if the parents wanted to intervene, the kid will ask the parents to not interfere.

It's pretty much n image thing. If a parent enters the picture, u get bullied even more for being a mummy's boy or for having someone else fight ur battes.

I normally pick on people twice my size for kicks. I have no trouble with the weak but I do realize that I'm pretty intimidating but I got to know them well, and, they're pretty hilarious.

In the western countries, normally, nerds get bullied by jocks.

They hit nerds because of how different they are. It's also a metaphor in a rather, unorthodox fashion.

Researchers have identified other risk factors such as quickness to anger and use of force, addiction to aggressive behaviors, mistaking others' actions as hostile, concern with preserving self image, and engaging in obsessive or rigid actions.

A person can turn psychotic if he or she is exposed to bully often.

Like what Mona O’Moore Ph. D of the Anti-Bullying Centre, Trinity College Dublin, said, "There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide"

Further studies have shown that while envy and resentment may be motives for bullying, there is little evidence to suggest that bullies suffer from any deficit in self esteem (as this would make it difficult to bully).

They just did it for "fun".

You do realize the world is a sick and sad place, right?

P.S I was a victim of bullying once. It all stopped when I stood up for myself. But I was still traumatized..

funniegal wrote:

Merre wrote:

I believe that the bully is wrong. However, I must state that I think there's a difference in the bullying you are talking about. People in the western culture tend to associate bullying to physical bullying. Those kind of actions are the type that are frowned upon. However, the western culture also have the type of bullying that you are describing...verbal/mental bullying which is not as strongly frowned upon. These are also the type of bullying you seem to be describing in the Japanese anime.

Now in the case of physical abuse, sometimes it is very hard for the person being bullied to stand up for themselves because of difference in size and other physical attributes.

Now for the other type of mental/verbal bullying, this is like name-calling and such...(seriously if you watch enough western teen movies you'll know what I mean..e.g Mean Girls), like I said, it isn't so strongly frowned upon. This type of bullying requires people to stand up for themselves and just state that I don't really care what you say/think of me...just shut up and get out of my face. Normally these bullies are reaction based. No more reaction = no point continuing.

In any case, people who bully the weak/retarded/mentally deficit are seriously people with very low self-esteem who gain their kicks from bullying people unable to defend themselves. Towards this group....i got nothing to say except...pitiful.

I agree to a point but to me, whether physical or mental/emotional, bullying is bullying. I may not physically injure u but sometimes words can be just as harsh or worse n this could also traumitize a person. So even if the person doesn't have physical scars, he would have emotional ones that can stay with him.

But like u said, ppl who bully have issues of their own n sometimes, the ppl they bully may actually reflect themselves in another environment. Peer pressure also plays a part. My friends want me to prove to them that I'm their friend so I'm forced to beat up someone. Something like that.

i agree with Funnie jie^^ bullying whether physical or mentally its the same. My friend was both physicallyy and verbally bullied. But the way i see it the physical bullying affected him more, so so much more.

But still my classmates think this dorky friend of mine should be strong .. they never seem to look down on the bullies, thats what i find so pathetic abt them. Its like they lack sense of individuality, they only seem to side the the stronger side in this case the bullies.

A: retaliate

B: ignore

C: smile back at them

Bullies come in a group.

1: stand down

2: trace one by one and wait near their house

3: see them come home, chiong and beat the gold out of their sorry butts

4: after giving them the services, gently pout your lips and spit on them (not a compulsory step)

I was a bully once. but I dont come in group. I am alone.
and only become one after I stood up for myself. did the above. and addicted to the glorious feeling. thus decided to become a bully to those bullies.


The only verdict, is vengeance.