Horoscopes by Ah_keong

Hi brothers and sisters!!! :mrgreen:

Date: 04th December 2007


ARIES
March 21-April 19

In order to gain greater insight into what is going on in your own life, you will need to look at someone's else life choices today. Regard this other person and everything will be fine -- the only problem will be in figuring out who to watch. Skip over the authority figures in your life. Their choices aren't as relevant to you as the choices your peers are making. Observe someone who is at your level. You will learn from their mistakes and gain insight from their successes.


TAURUS
April 20-May 20

The love train is pulling into the station today, and it's stopping right in front of you! You are going to get a big dose of affection, which you should return. Keep in mind that love comes in many forms, and this surge of positive emotion could come from a family member, friend, or even a particularly grateful coworker! There is no hidden agenda to this warmth, it is meant only to communicate the value you bring to someone else's life. Give this same message to someone you love today.


GEMINI
May 21-June 21

Communication of various types will be your entertainment, your nemesis, and your inspiration today. Watch the emails that come in to you today -- one of them has a great opportunity hidden inside. Click to find your next social highlight. A tricky conversation late in the afternoon might throw you off your balance a bit, but the battle of wits will be fun and invigorating. Before the day is through, an inspiring song lyric, poem or even just a friend's email rant with spark a new idea.


CANCER
June 22-July 22

More things can happen more quickly when there are more hands involved -- it sounds like a simple principle, but are you applying it to your own life? Today, use all the help you can get to complete your latest project, fix an error, or get that cutie to finally notice you. Two heads are better than one -- heck, five heads are better still! So get your people together and get something going. All this collaboration will be more than just a problem solving session -- it will be a lot of fun.


LEO
July 23-August 22

Have you been playing phone tag with someone? If so, take it as a sign that you need to stop playing the game. You can always communicate another day, so stop worrying about making a connection and focus on other things. When you are meant to get in contact with them, you will. Don't worry about it right now. Pushing too hard to get something right now isn't wise. It's time to let life happen around you, like the current of a river, and just go with the flow.


VIRGO
August 23-September 22

What was once a trivial friendship -- which offered little more than pleasant conversation and occasional dinner dates -- is slowly becoming a more deep and meaningful relationship. And today, you will be given an opportunity to solidify it even further by sharing a truth you've been keeping to yourself. But before you do that, ask yourself if this is a person whose company you want for the long haul. Consider what their emotional reaction might be to what you have to say.


LIBRA
September 23-October 22

Teamwork is important today, but so is doing what you know to be the right thing. A struggling event or party you are trying to plan with a group is really yours to control and transform. You can own this event, and you should feel confident that you will make the right choices at every turn. Your aesthetic skills are matched only by your organizational wizardry, and you know just how to combine them for the optimum effect. Other people trust you to guide things in the right direction.


SCORPIO
October 23 - November 21

Travel and adventure will be on your mind today, as your present life and location might be less than stimulating. If you already have some ideas in the back of your mind, push them a little father into reality today. Try to do some preliminary research, and figure out if you want to go your own way or with a friend (or special someone). Most areas of your life are humming along on a sort of metaphysical auto-pilot right now, free of great turmoil, but also free of significant excitement.


SAGITTARIUS
November 22-December 21

There are too many elements of your life overlapping right now. The lines between separate social groups could be blurring, a coworker is suddenly making moves to get together outside of work, or a family member wants to come work where you work. None of these things is necessarily a bad thing, but it might be happening a bit too fast. So today, step back and slow things down. Let the people who are pushing know that you need a bit more time to get on board.


CAPRICORN
December 22-January 19

Low brow culture like reality television, pop music and slapstick movies are satisfying sometimes, but right now your heart and soul need exposure to a higher level of art. Take a chance and turn the dial to the classical station for the day. Let your mind process music in a new way. Visual art will be very stimulating and your aesthetic sensibilities are tightly in tune with your intellect. If you widen your creative interests, you will increase your curiosity for sophisticated things.


AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18

Steer clear of the people who think the idea of being 'good' is a relative term. You can spot them easily -- they are the people who are willing to say whatever it takes to get what they want. Morality is more critical to your life now than it has ever been, so seek out the people who have deep beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. This has nothing to do with religion or life philosophy -- it's more about day to day choices. Stick with the people who treat other people right.


PISCES
February 19-March 20

The precarious balance between your public life and your private life is going to be a bit of a sticky line to walk right now -- so feel free to rely on the guidance of folks who have already been through what you are going through right now. Let go of all the efforts you are making to try to guide your path so narrowly, and turn away from the expectations you fear other people have on you. You are responsible for what happens today, but only to a point.


Regards
Zack

Wah...... than who is my loved one ?

TAURUS
April 20-May 20

The love train is pulling into the station today, and it's stopping right in front of you! You are going to get a big dose of affection, which you should return. Keep in mind that love comes in many forms, and this surge of positive emotion could come from a family member, friend, or even a particularly grateful coworker! There is no hidden agenda to this warmth, it is meant only to communicate the value you bring to someone else's life. Give this same message to someone you love today.

Virgincess wrote:

Wah...... than who is my loved one ?

TAURUS
April 20-May 20

The love train is pulling into the station today, and it's stopping right in front of you! You are going to get a big dose of affection, which you should return. Keep in mind that love comes in many forms, and this surge of positive emotion could come from a family member, friend, or even a particularly grateful coworker! There is no hidden agenda to this warmth, it is meant only to communicate the value you bring to someone else's life. Give this same message to someone you love today.

u have 2 find lah, HK a lot of handsome guys de mah!! LENG ZAI!!!

Sorry you are wrong HKG have the highest number of ugly men and men who have asses up their faces...

Virgincess wrote:

Sorry you are wrong HKG have the highest number of ugly men and men who have asses up their faces...

really meh??

u 2 pretty lah, thats why the guys scare of u...

what have them being scared got to do with me being pretty?

Different things hor...and if they are rude and ugly its not my fault right?

yah thats true... but if u are 2 pretty, guys who don have much confidence will scare also right...

Hi brothers and sisters!!!

Date: 05th December 2007


ARIES
March 21-April 19

Things might feel light and airy at first, today, but by the mid-afternoon you should be able to sense some heavy business going on just beneath the surface. This subliminal weight doesn't have to slow you down, however. Keep your bright outlook and don't join in on anyone's pity party. Let them live under a cloud if they choose to, today. You can step away for a while and focus on going where it is that you want to go. You'll just need to be prepared to go there by yourself.


TAURUS
April 20-May 20

If you are in the midst of planning something like a trip or a party, give yourself more time. As excited as you may be, you need to take your time and give yourself more space to do some research. You need to get a better grip on the forces around you before making any commitments -- especially regarding people and money. Now is not the time to be spontaneous! Do not let your emotions drive your actions until you know exactly what you are getting yourself into.


GEMINI
May 21-June 21

A new focus on health and diet will come into your life today, shifting your priorities away from taking the easy way out and toward putting in the hard effort that you know will pay off. It's time to face the facts and trim the fat -- literally! Investigate new ideas on how to eat better and exercise more. Ask around and don't just assume that your local gym has all the answers. There are many ways to approach this problem and get healthier in a fun way.


CANCER
June 22-July 22

Do you know what the best way to deal with a suspicion is? Go to the source and ask them to confirm or to deny. Things have gone too far for too long, and it goes on much longer, all that frustration will cloud any chance you had for progress. It has to come to an end as soon as possible. Luckily, you have the inner strength and fortitude to stick to your guns and stand your ground. You are feeling emotionally strong, and you can keep your priorities remarkably straight.


LEO
July 23-August 22

You thought you totally understood your feelings about a recent encounter, but today confusion might swim up to the surface again. Having doubts about what happened is fine, but do not make any changes based on your doubts -- it's a waste of time. What's done is done, and if your feelings are starting to change, there's nothing you can do but accept it and keep moving forward. The impression you left is the one that will stay, and you don't have to apologize for it.


VIRGO
August 23-September 22

If you are confused by a comment someone makes today, pursue it until you get complete clarity. Ask them to repeat themselves and explain what they really mean. You cannot let it go for the sake of not ruffling anyone's feathers. Don't worry about not drawing attention to yourself. If you overlook too many things, your reputation could become negatively affected. This is a time in your life when you need to stand up for yourself. Make sure you know what is going on.


LIBRA
September 23-October 22

The hottest thing in your life right now sure isn't the weather, and it's not your romance, either. No, all the heat that's being generated is coming from the fresh ideas brimming from your head! So grab some paper, pens, crayons, a video camera -- whatever you feel like using to get your ideas out. Songs, poems, stories, even silly 'to do' lists are all valid forms of expression right now. Getting what's deep inside of you out there is the biggest challenge you have today. But it's bound to offer the greatest reward, too.


SCORPIO
October 23 - November 21

You are the center of the action today, baby! Get ready for a lot of attention -- put on a sharp outfit, polish up your attitude, and practice a few one-liners. Your charm quotient is high, and it will act like a web today, snaring some attractive and influential people as you move throughout your day. Suddenly, folks who've known you for ages are seeing you in a new light. And the folks who encounter you for the first time today are asking each other 'who is THAT?


SAGITTARIUS
November 22-December 21

Getting your hands dirty would do you some good today. It is time for you to build your ideas into something solid and make your dreams manifest. This could include something as simple as baking a big batch of chocolate chip cookies, or as major as getting out a hammer and nails and building a new doghouse (of your own design!). The important thing is to take something from the 'idea' phase to the 'realization' phase. Remind yourself that anything is possible -- you just have to do it!


CAPRICORN
December 22-January 19

There will be several dramas whirling around you today, but you can handle them ... and who knows? You might even enjoy them, since they involve some of your favorite people. The one thing you should remember is to stay as detached, calm and flexible as possible -- if you can bend like a reed, you will be able to give stormy folks the berth they need. The more emotional distance you can create, the more enjoyable your day will be.


AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18

Your emotions are yours, and you certainly have a right to feel the way you feel -- but not everyone else needs to know exactly how you feel at all times. Today, do not confuse honesty with over-sharing. It's more appropriate for you to keep your thoughts a bit vague. Keep your cards close to your chest and do not let everyone know exactly what is on your mind (at least not yet). If you let everyone know everything at every opportunity, then what will you be saving for later?


PISCES
February 19-March 20

Concentrate your attention on the decision-makers in your life today, and try to get a handle on what motivates them. They have a lot of influence over your life right now, so it is in your best interests to understand them as completely as you can. In a new work relationship today, you might need to step out of your comfort zone a lot farther than you're used to just to prove that you're no doormat. But you are definitely up to the challenge.


Regards
Zack

Hi brothers and sisters!!!

Date: 06th December 2007


ARIES
March 21-April 19

You are doing very well, balancing your emotions with the emotions of others, and it is going to pay off in a big way, today. By being in synch emotionally with the people around you (especially the powerful ones), you are showing folks that you are someone who is enjoyable to work with -- that you are someone who can compromise and work with others toward a common goal. Focus on that flexibility today, and get ready for the give and take of negotiations.


TAURUS
April 20-May 20

Your fiery enthusiasm for what you believe in is powerful -- you can always make things happen with your emotional conviction. But today, rein in that power and keep it to yourself. Controversial conversations could be filled with traps. If you jump into things heart-first, you may end up getting burned -- or at least putting your foot in your mouth. Experiment by taking an impersonal point of view. Don't let your listening skills be hampered by your passion.


GEMINI
May 21-June 21

If you are put on the spot today, try not to act out of character. Don't do anything without thinking first. While it might seem like racing ahead will get you where you want to go faster, nothing could be farther from the truth. You should stick with your usual approach and just observe for a while. Today, new things will unfold slowly, like a flower blooming in a time-release photograph. Watch the transitions throughout the day and enjoy an unusual perspective.


CANCER
June 22-July 22

Prepare yourself for an indecisive phase. A lesser mortal would let such confusion shake their confidence, but you should see it as an opportunity to appreciate how difficult everyday choices can be. Instead of fighting your tendency to look at all aspects of a problem, just go with it. Enjoy how different things can look from different perspectives, and indulge in the luxury of being able to process many options before committing to one single solution.


LEO
July 23-August 22

If you have been losing confidence in your intuitive powers, don't lose hope! Your faith is about to be restored by an unusual development later in the day. When it happens, consult your gut one more time, and check in with yourself about how you are thinking and how you are feeling. Either your mind is changing, or your gut is. The two will come together with the right answer and a smart plan. You are getting back in the saddle of defining your own destiny.


VIRGO
August 23-September 22

Whether you consider yourself to be an intellectually curious person or not, you should not be afraid to delve into complicated ideas today -- your mental clarity will be strong, and you'll be able to break complex ideas down into more easily understood bits and pieces. Pair this ability with your exceptional verbal communications skills, and you'll be the most effective teacher there is today. Help others see things that they don't understand, and you'll learn a lot along the way.


LIBRA
September 23-October 22

Sometimes, you have to think of your life as if it were a business: How are you managing your output and your input? If there is no balance, you will certainly start suffering, so today you should make the adjustments you need. Get a good night's rest, eat a healthy breakfast, and give yourself some free time to eliminate the day's accumulating stress. If you do these things, you will see a huge improvement in your performance. Your company's morale will be fantastic, too.


SCORPIO
October 23 - November 21

Your vision has been partly cloudy over the past few weeks, but today it is definitely going to clear up. Look for sunny skies -- thanks in part to the shocking news you hear early in the day. Like an ice cold shower in a sweltering hot day, this wake up call will refresh you, invigorate you, and prepare you for some hard work. Unusual people have unusual ideas, but that doesn't mean that they aren't ones you should adopt. You can see what you need to do today -- and in the coming weeks -- clearly.


SAGITTARIUS
November 22-December 21

Endurance is not always fun -- staying with something (or someone) until it is over isn't quite as enjoyable as sticking with something (or someone) because they truly fulfill you and make you happy. Unfortunately, when something important is at stake, you have to forgo the fun and hang in there. Today, your options are limited and your determination will force you to do the right thing. Focus on making things last right now. Later, you can figure out how to make them fun.


CAPRICORN
December 22-January 19

There could be a clash of the titans today, so keep your head down and mind your own business. Getting caught up in a power struggle between two giant personalities is not going to be a good move. Even if you try to stay objective, it simply won't be possible. At some point, your back in going to be up against the wall. It's better to stick to your own work and keep your eyes on your own paper. If someone asks you to get involved, you should tell them no and accept the consequences.


AQUARIUS
January 20-February 18

Working on advancing your career can be a lot more fun than you think. Making social connections can often lead to making business connections, although you do need to keep a stern eye on where to draw the line. There's a social invitation coming you way, and your first urge might be to take a rain check. Do what you can do make it to the event -- and bring a few business cards just in case. You never know who's on the other end of a handshake.


PISCES
February 19-March 20

Every storm ends -- so if today starts to get rough, remind yourself of that fact. There are a lot of dramas going on in your life, although none of them really have the potential to drive you off track. Today is not the day to make major moves or attempt significant transformations. It is better if you just hang on and ride this all out. In the evening, try to find some alone time with an engrossing novel that can take you far, far away from your current reality.


Regards
Zack

this horoscope a bit 'chimilogy'. lolx..

February 28, 2008

ARIES - March 21-April 19

A lot of information needs to be communicated in a very small amount of time today, so you don't have time to beat around the bush or be vague. Your new name is Frank -- in that you need to be frank and open in everything you say and write today. Vague hints dropped here and there are not going to get picked up. You need to be direct, clear, and even in some cases shockingly straightforward in order to move anything forward at all. Issues need clarity, so bring it.


TAURUS - April 20-May 20

Not so fast! Your buying habits are getting a bit too impulsive, and if left unchecked, they could lead to making a bigger financial commitment than you are ready for. Be very wary of installment situations, where you are asked to pay a certain amount over a length of time. If you need to buy things, use cash. Delaying your payment will not benefit you in the end. Debt is something to avoid much more consciously, and living a 'cash only' existence, at least for a while, should help.


GEMINI - May 21-June 21

Feeling a bit stressed out? It might be the right time to experience what life is like from the sidelines. You've been a regular action hero lately, zooming to the rescue and coming to the aid of the people who you value and the people who value you. But boy, that can be exhausting work! Take some time out from being there for others. Be there for yourself! Treat yourself to a mellow, quiet night (and don't forget to turn off your phone!). You can get back into the action tomorrow.


CANCER - June 22-July 22

It looks like someone who you thought was acting in a selfish way was actually being much more altruistic than you realized. The fact that you didn't know the whole story is partly to blame, but this person is more modest than you gave them credit for, too. Be wary of making assumptions about people you don't know very well. Folks almost never turn out to be exactly who you thought they were. Keep your mind open, and they will show you how wonderful they can be.


LEO - July 23-August 22

You should start working on the idea of romance today -- if you're missing romance in your life right now, add some! Another person is not necessary to achieve this, you know. You can romance yourself! Take yourself out, treat yourself to a spa day, or buy yourself flowers. If you have someone in your life, be sure to do what you can to make them feel special. Let them know how much they mean to you -- after all, they can't read your mind!


VIRGO - August 23-September 22

There's nothing like a little heart-to-heart to help you overcome any tension you have been having at home. Time apart has created a bit of a hole in your relationship with someone you love, and spending more time together is the only thing that will patch it back up again. Stay in tonight, or go out, just the two of you. Whatever you do, you need spend some quality time with them. Remind yourself how important they are to you before they start thinking that they aren't important to you at all.


LIBRA - September 23-October 22

In a casual conversation today, you will find yourself exploring high-minded ideas that you never would have expected to be talking about when you woke up this morning. Just when you thought you had this person all figured out, they go and surprise you with a depth you never knew they had! Discoveries abound in all areas of your life -- your physical health is changing for the better, too. But don't celebrate so much that you undo all the good work you've done!


SCORPIO - October 23 - November 21

If you speak without thinking today, you run a very serious risk of embarrassing yourself -- and maybe your friends, too. So be cautious, especially around new people. Rehearse what you're going to say before you say it, and things should be just fine. In life, when you aren't sure of who you are dealing with, it's better to be safe now than to be sorry later. An old friend is in your thoughts today -- why not drop them a line to find out how they're doing?


SAGITTARIUS - November 22-December 21

There are many reasons to think positively right now, although you have bee having a hard time seeing them for what they are. The good news is that your vision is (slowly but surely) clearing. Stop straining. Just let life happen around you today -- you'll be able to sense a new beginning coming, which will give you the confidence to move in a new direction. You're prepared to take things to the next level, but you're still a little scared to take that step. Don't worry -- by tonight you'll feel like you're almost ready.


CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19

Go ahead and follow your urge to let your more idealistic side take over your decision-making right now. Letting your inner idealist out will be healthy for your self-esteem. It could also encourage new friends to get to know you even better -- everyone likes someone who leads with their heart. Plus, when you see the best in everything, you automatically see the best in yourself, too. Go ahead -- love yourself more. After all, seeing the beauty in life creates more beauty in life.


AQUARIUS - January 20-February 18

Your friends are going to be your greatest source of comfort and energy today, especially those born under the sign of Libra or Sagittarius. You have similar ideas about where this day should take you, so get organized into a group and enjoy your well-coordinated plans together. Even the simplest activities will hold a great deal of appeal -- running errands, going for a long drive, or just taking a walk together will unlock a lot of sweet sentiments and keep you all laughing.


PISCES - February 19-March 20

One of your current authority figures isn't any wiser than you are in a particular situation -- so do not let them contradict a suggestion of yours that you know will work. There is a good chance that they have gotten a bit lazy about exploring new ideas. They think they know it all, case closed. You can choose to let them go ahead and do what they think is best, or push harder for your idea. But keep in mind that if you don't speak up, you will suffer more than they will.


Regards
Zack

February 29, 2008 - LEAP YEAR

ARIES - March 21-April 19

Tell your inner critic to be extra kind when you are dealing with evaluating other people today. It can be quite demanding sometimes, and having high expectations is not going to help you get important people on your side -- and you definitely need them to be on your side right now! There are many more ways of doing things than you realize, so keep an open mind and listen to what people are saying. It's time for you to let someone else teach you something for a change.


TAURUS - April 20-May 20

You'll want to be especially careful to keep all of your communication on the up-and-up right now. The more honest and open you can be with the people you encounter, the better. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that if you tell someone what you think they want to hear that they will like you better or respect you more. That is more untrue than you realize. It is much better to be direct and blunt with your criticism than to sugar coat everything you say -- don't worry, they can handle it.


GEMINI - May 21-June 21

Your interpersonal energy might feel a bit off at the moment, so don't be surprised if some of your personal interactions (especially the romantic kind) take sudden, strange turns. Just try to laugh off a misspoken comment or awkward silence -- the other person will follow your lead most likely. Think of this as a great opportunity for you to practice making lemonade out of lemons! Prove to yourself that you can turn something negative into a positive.


CANCER - June 22-July 22

You'll be getting a much more profound understanding of an issue (or a certain someone) who has been causing you to scratch your head in confusion quite a lot lately. An unusual event later in the day or early evening will reveal what is really going on -- and what you can do to help move things in a more positive direction. You have a lot more control in what can happen now, and it is about time that you realized it.


LEO - July 23-August 22

It is time for you to realize that being self-centered isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, it's essential in order to keep your cool. Today, you need to concentrate on number one (that's you!) in order to stay happy and grounded. Treat yourself right and make some big plans. Buy that pair of shoes you've had your eye on. Rent that epic movie you've never had time to watch. Whether it's a big thing or a small thing, you must do some thing for yourself!


VIRGO - August 23-September 22

If you're still holding on to some hurt feelings or leftover issues from your past, today is the day that you need to move past them. They are clouding your thinking and causing you to think things about someone in your life right now that simply aren't true. Are you judging someone based on the actions of someone else? This person's role in your life is potentially very important, so you need to spend time with them today and give them the chance to show you who they really are.

LIBRA - September 23-October 22

Money's probably on your mind more than just about anything else is right now, and it could be distracting you too much from the friends and family members in your life. To take your mind off of finances, focus on someone else's life. Single out a fun friend and ask them how their job or love life is going. Get them talking about themselves so you won't have to think so much about what is going on in your life. Give yourself a vacation from your worries for a day.


SCORPIO - October 23 - November 21

Someone in your family might not know the full story about what is going on with you right now, but that is probably not going to stop them from lecturing you about it. As much as it might annoy you to listen to what they have to say, you must. They might not be on target with what they are talking about, but they love you -- and listening to what they think is a good way to show them that you love them right back. Besides, there will be more than a few gems of wisdom in what they tell you.


SAGITTARIUS - November 22-December 21

Just what are you waiting for? That job, cutie, or other exciting new opportunity is not going to come to you -- you have to go to it. It's time to get proactive and go after what you want! So cross that room and talk to that alluring person before someone else gets to them first. Tell your boss you're interested in the job before they start interviewing other candidates. The universe can't help you get what you want until you take that first step.


CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19

A little bit of solo time probably sounds good to you right now, doesn't it? It makes sense, after all the time and energy you have been giving to other people lately. A little bit of rest and relaxation will not only revitalize your heart and your soul, but it will remind those around you that you cannot be taken for granted. You are there to help -- not there to be used. Treat yourself well and get all the beauty sleep you feel you need right now.


AQUARIUS - January 20-February 18

Details, details. Sure, they're not the most exciting things in the world, but they are vitally important to maintaining one of your most precious relationships today. Have you forgotten someone's birthday? Neglected to congratulate someone on their diet progress? Noticing the little things -- and then commenting upon them -- will show this other people in your life that you care. You can't put yourself on auto pilot when it comes to friendships.


PISCES - February 19-March 20

Today, you should be on the lookout for some conflict to grow between the side of you that wants to take on greater responsibility and the side of you that just wants to have fun. This doesn't have to be a tug of war, though -- you can have it both ways! All you need to do is organize your day a bit more rigidly, and you will be able to enjoy yourself without letting other people down. Schedule yourself in 15-minute increments if you have to.


Regards
Zack

sounds a lot like:

"LIFE IS NORMAL ON FEB 29. THE WORLD WILL NOT END. SO GO DO YOUR WORK."

hence, im still chionging my projects.

ALCOHOL

ARIES - March 21-April 19

ARIES Drinking style Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.


TAURUS - April 20-May 20

TAURUS Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no .. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.


GEMINI - May 21-June 21

GEMINI Drinking style Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.


CANCER - June 22-July 22

CANCER Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.


LEO - July 23-August 22

LEO Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware that they're the darling --Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one who they were with :-) But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.


VIRGO - August 23-September 22

VIRGO Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure --but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!

LIBRA - September 23-October 22

LIBRA Drinking style "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!


SCORPIO - October 23 - November 21

SCORPIO Drinking style Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.


SAGITTARIUS - November 22-December 21

SAGITTARIUS Drinking style In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun . Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).


CAPRICORN - December 22-January 19

CAPRICORN Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie


AQUARIUS - January 20-February 18

AQUARIUS Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist) :Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.


PISCES - February 19-March 20

PISCES Drinking style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know.


Regards
Zack

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